The Resolution

This year the new years resolution will hopefully be quite simple, but of course difficult as always. For me this past year, I have realized it’s the little things that tend to escape me. I have decided that those will be those things I will work on this year.

1. Have my house picked up by bedtime

2. Lose 15 pounds

3. Eat a healthier diet

4. Be more consistent at writing (blogging, writing on my own time)

5. Finish the second children’s story

6. Work on getting the first children’s story published

7. Spend about two hours a week working out (trust me it’s better then what I’m doing now)

8. Keep an active journal

9. Be consistent at Family Home Evening

10. Complete the first five chapters of my non-fiction book

11. Make my bed everyday (or most days….right now it’s rare)

12. Build up food storage

13. Allow my husband to make more of his own decisions where he will face the consequences himself, but hope he will recognize many or most of the decisions he makes will have a direct impact on our family (meaning me and Bradley and himself of course)

14. Potty Train Bradley

15. Write an article for the Church

We’ll see what this year brings. I know there’s a lot going on and I’m sure my resolutions will come with some revisions but this is what I have feel and feel are my goals at this point….I’m hoping that at the beginning of every months we will be able to check up on the resolutions and see how far I’ve come and if I’m being consistent at doing them….This in no means replaces our family theme, which still remains the same….Hope.

Pillar of Hope

With recent activity in life and the world around us, I have felt the need to hope. In the Book of Alma we read that we "hope for things that are not seen but true." Written years ago it applies to every day situations for most of us. Through this life and in the world today we tend to see a lot of turmoil, confusion, disgrace and poverty. On top of all of that the many important feelings and emotions vital to every day life there is an issue with or lack of love, faith, trust. For many people I feel it often leads to despair.

Why bring this up now in a season that is supposed to start new resolutions and reflection on the year past? The reason is just as Alma had testified, we need to hope for things that are true. Yes some of them may not be seen and some we may be able to see in the distant or near future. My husband and I have decided that hope will be our theme for 2010. We have a lot to hope for and to wish for. We know that if we remain honest and faithful to our beliefs, ourselves, our family and our friends that we will be taken care of.

I know we are faced with difficulties in this life but I also know that Heavenly Father wouldn't be give us anything we couldn't handle. I know that Heavenly Father loves us and that through faith in Him we will be able to have all the provisions we need. Chris and I have a lot to hope for both individually and together as a family. While my husband is Atheist I know that he still believes in hope and I know he has a lot to hope for. With him graduating in August many things are uncertain in our future but we do know with planning, preparation and our belief we will be taken care of.

I am very grateful for my family and my beliefs. I am grateful for the knowledge I have of Heavenly Father and His plan for us. I am grateful for the church and their support and finally I am grateful for a wonderful little boy and a very understanding husband. We have a lot to hope for this year and that pillar of hope is going to make all the difference in our life. I say these things in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Planet Mom

This is my second year attending MOPS (Mother's of Preschoolers). Last years theme was "Adventures in Mothering" and the picture that accompanied the theme was a roller coaster. The theme this year is, "Planet Mom."

At the beginning of this month, MOPS showed a video and it talked about the difference, or changes that occurred from being who you were to who you are now as a mom. The woman in the video discussed who she was before kids and then all of a sudden she was a mom and her needs definitely did not come first. We heard how she struggled finding her identity. Would she ever be the woman she was just months prior or would she be on this foreign planet forever. She discussed how she felt and how she wanted to put her child first and at the same time wished she remembered who that woman was and she truly missed her.

As new mothers I think we all fall into that category. In our discussion groups afterward we discussed if we missed who we were before we were moms. I definitely agreed with one mom and felt like I still wasn't sure if I truly ever figured out or was comfortable with who I was. I know who I am now and I do miss what it was like in some senses of who I was, even though I'm not 100% sure who she really was. Before having a baby it was much easier just to pick up and go, fly to California, pack for just the two of us, have constant company over, but now it's different. It's rare if I stay up past 11, and even at that time I'm exhausted. I do miss the spontenaety between me and my husband, I miss a lot of those years. The definite pre-pregnancy body that I now long for.

At the same time as all the missing, I couldn't imagine life without my son. He brightens my day. I love watching him discover new things, listening to him play and his little imagination go wild. I love that I stay home with him and watch him grow, develop, try and learn new words, meet new milestones, etc. So this year I am learning how to grow as a mom and keep that little piece of me from before in there. I'm not really sure what it will be yet, maybe striving harder to do my hair in the morning, work out more, put on make up everyday, maybe all of it, but regardless it's finding that medium between being a mom and being you. Never lose sight of who you are and know the Lord is always there if you need help and guidance, all you have to do is ask. He will guide you, love you, listen to your frustrations and He will show you how much he cares, for me it often shows up from the heart of my little boy unexpectedly.