Trying the Waiting Game....

In the military one would always remember the "Hurry Up and Wait" game. This primarily consists of having to be somewhere or do something at a particular time, which you cannot be late for. Once you get there or have the opportunity to complete the task, you normally have to wait. You wait for paperwork, you wait in a gigantic long line, you wait for signatures, wait in another gigantic long line, wait for your computer to be fixed, wait in another gigantic long line....it can take forever.

Since our miscarriage several months ago we were waiting to "try" again for another. We had to wait a minimum of three months. We waited for about five. Now we are playing the same old game....hurry up and wait.....we sit here and wonder how long it will take....I am now three days late on my "cycle" and we are still waiting....the pregnancy test said negative....so now we wait...even more...we will now wait a couple more days, or maybe even tomorrow to play the hurry up and wait game some more before taking another pregnancy test. If that doesn't work out then we will wait even longer to start the process all over again.

In the meantime the game continues for everything. The hurry up and wait has lasted several months for me, I am now officially: HONORABLY DISCHARGED EFFECTIVE THE 21ST from the Army....a friend told me...now I have to wait for my unit to send me the letter. I guess it will preoccupy me from the baby business. Of course in the back of my mind I'm still going to hurry up and wait, and even though I'm happy to be discharged I'm overcome with extreme sadness, a huge window to my life has closed, I just have to remember another one will open.