So we have a quiz on the side of my blog and a baby ticker on the very bottom. For some reason I couldn't get the ticker to fit all the way on the side.
Pretty much Chris and I are realizing how fast our little boy is growing. He's not driving a car or anything but he is growing fast and a little faster then we thought he was. We are posting a clip of our son, this was from last week. He was playing with the keyboard and successfully programmed some sort of sounds we couldn't get off the computer for about a day or so. He's going to be a computer nut just like Daddy.
A few days ago Chris was feeding the baby, well it turns out Chris put his food on the tray for the highchair. Bradley had just learned how to dump out his toys from a little bucket he has, so he was imitading the same concept. All I heard was, "Bradley!" When Chris told me what happened all I could do was laugh.
So I have a very hard time swallowing pills. The doctor had given me chewable prenatal vitamins. Yesterday was our first day taking them (before I was taking Flinstones). First off the container is hard as all heck to open. They say they are child proof, well they are adult proof too. Chris even had more of a difficult time opening them then he thought he would.
After they were opened we took a sniff....citrus....I asked Chris if he wanted one. He declined. I took my chewable for the day and thought, "It's not so bad." Then it hit. The citrus flavor quickly changed to something bitter and chalky. I couldn't even swallow this! It was horrible. As I choked it down I was reading the label. "Take with a full glass of water." Of course. No wonder why they wanted you to douse your mouth with a liquid substance.
This morning as I was staring down the bottle I realized it said something about your bowel movements and urine. Apparently it's not uncommon for them to change color. Great I wonder if I'll have purple poop.
Throughout all of this, it reminded me of how my mother would force me to choke down my dinner. I was normally just a hotdog and beans type of girl. It was my favorite. A couple years ago in school I had to write a very short piece about food, which I'm sure needs editing, but the choking of the pills reminded me of this piece.
Enjoy.
The Worst Pork Chops Ever
I sat there and stared at the meat soaked in what my family thought was a delicious sustenance. The pork chops stared back at me, daring me to eat it. Everyone was gone from the table except me, the princess plate, the pork chops soaked in tomato soup and the hopeful and willing rescuer the dog, named Brandy. My booster seat was pushed close to the table, with me in it. I felt the world caving in as I watched my brother playing outside in the warm Georgia evening weather.
Chad was tossing a tennis ball against the brick exterior and then catching it. Every once and awhile there was a loud BING ringing against the glass window. "SORRY MOM! I MISSED THE WALL!" He yelled through the window followed by his goofy smile showing his missing six year old front teeth.
"Mom, can I go outside and play with Chad?"
"When you finish your supper."
"But Mom, I'm FULLLLL" I emphasized full in my whine, hoping to win her over.
"You hardly ate anything. Finish your meat."
Finish my meat? Is she crazy? Does she know this is torture and how horrible it tastes? "But Mom," I continued to whine. "The meat is too rough!" I used to say the meat was too rough when it took forever to chew or it was overcooked.
"Jenna, the meat isn't too rough," Mom argued.
Then it dawned on me like a ton of bricks, Brandy was patiently waiting, for any drops of food. As quietly as possible I picked up a piece of the tomato soaked meat and hung it over the table. Brandy, a medium sized mutt, attacked it as a piranha would attack fresh meat, I almost lost a finger. Glancing in Mom's direction she had no clue, the plan had worked and Mom was oblivious. One piece was down and several more to go. I reached again for the next victim while Brandy was anticipating her next treat, ready to go and on her feet.
"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!"
How did she know? She wasn't even in the same room as me! I put the meat on the table and then casually flung it off with my hand, the dog leapt for it.
"JENNIFER MARIE!"
She used my middle name! I'm really in trouble now! Where is she? How does she know these things? "But Mom, I dropped it!" I tried to emphasize the word drop.
"Don't 'but Mom' me, eat your dinner!"
I put a piece of the rough white tomato meat in my mouth and began to chew. Again that four year old brain of mine was on fire. After chewing and chewing, I would spit the meat into the paper napkin Mom placed at each of our settings. It was a great plan except the napkin was tearing and it would be noticeable. There had to be another plan fishing around my head somewhere. I shoved the last couple of pieces in my mouth.
"Mom, I'm done! See?" I showed her my plate, napkin crumpled on top and my mouth full of meat.
"See that wasn't so bad was it?"
"Nope," I tried to choke out as much of the word as my chipmunk cheeks would allow.
"Go throw the napkin away and you can go outside with Chad."
I pushed myself away from the cryptic chair of torture, the dog close at my heels and headed toward the trash to throw away the contents of my napkin and mouth.
"And don't even think of spitting the meat out."
She knows! I threw out the napkin, walked passed my mom showing her the contents of my mouth and headed for the bathroom. With the exception of a small amount I spit the other white meat in the toilet and flushed away my dinner. Walking passed my mother again I showed her the remains in my mouth again and headed outside, Brandy still on my heels waiting for her final reward.
