Back to Reality

Yesterday I was very blessed to have a little taste of a girls night out. I haven't had one in a very long time. Chris was having a guys weekend so I decided to invited a couple of my friends over. We decided to go out to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner at five. Chris said he would watch Bradley while I spent time with the girls. It was SO much fun. It was nice to sit and talk with no interruptions and have good girl gossip. I kept teasing them I had to live vicariously through them because I don't do anything anymore and I wanted to be more spontaneous like the old days (which is how I eloped then sent an email to my family that I got married).

Once dinner was done and the check was paid, I wanted to just sit in the restaurant and honestly didn't have the desire to go back home yet. Although I loved the hour long dinner with friends and a break from the baby I loved the company even more. I miss being my old self at times. I would never change my life with my family but I miss the carefree life. Now everything has to be planned from waking up in the morning to meals, church, activities and through bedtime.

I was telling the girls how I wanted to be spontaneous and one of them offered me an all expense paid trip to Orlando in about two weeks from now. In fact I would get paid while I was there. I jumped at the chance, but now that I have time to think about it I couldn't leave Bradley. I have never left him for more then a few hours. I don't think I would handle that well at all. We'll see if I follow through with it. I doubt it, it's kind of scary being spontaneous as a wife and mother.

Lonely. That's what my life has come down to. I have my family but my friends in Oswego have all left (seeing how it's a college town). My other friends still in Oswego are in college and into partying and living the college life. I'm not into that. My nearest friend with kids lives in Auburn. I have no friends from church, although a couple acquaintances. I go to MOPS and have a few acquaintances there and every once in awhile we will do a play date. I miss having friends and having company with my same interests over. I remember years ago my cousin, who is also a stay at home mom, told me she didn't have any friends because she was always home with her then toddlers. When we move we will live minutes from that cousin, whose kids are now in school. She is almost like my pillar of light and I know once Bradley is old enough to get involved in more things I will have friends once again.