Time Changes Everything

Now that I am a mommy I look at everything differently. I think about my past and I tell my toddler, "Don't, please don't pull some of the stunts Mommy or Daddy did." It's not just me that thinks like this. Chris informed me when Bradley is a teenager we are both getting stick shifts because he won't know how to drive them and therefore won't be able to steal our vehicles like he stole his father's truck when he was fifteen. Chris also informed me that it gives me plenty of time to practice my driving skills, since I haven't driven stick since my freshman year in college, which involved Kristi's red little "clown car" and what felt like ten clowns piling in and out of it.

With Halloween coming up, I often wonder what we will do for trick or treating. As a kid we always went in our neighborhood. After we were all done we would sort through the candy to pick out the "safe" and "unsafe" ones to eat. Oswego however....isn't somewhere I normally trust. I know the college does some sort of trick or treat thing for kids so maybe we'll do that. I do not however feel comfortable to take my son to many houses around here, maybe the neighbors on each side but other then that....I think we are headed elsewhere.

It's not just Halloween that is a concern. Neither Chris nor myself want to raise our son here. We would prefer a more...well...happier, honest, loving, safer area. Growing up we never locked our doors, would leave our keys in our car, etc. Here....not so much. We lock up every night, we always lock the car and we take the extra steps needed. On top of all that as a kid we would walk to school. I would often ride my bike with a friend, who has now passed on. In Oswego I definitely wouldn't even think about it.

I also look at kids, teenagers, people my age and think how disrespectful they are. Today I saw my neighbor and of course said hello to him. I also called him Mister Murphy. He laughed and said I should just call him Kevin, but I think to myself I want my son (who was with me at the time) to call his elders mister, miss, misses, whatever it would be. What's wrong with a little hospitality, respect, politeness. Of course Mister Murphy was probably saying this because I'm an adult, but regardless it's how I was raised. In fact for a while it was, "Yes, ma'am," "No, ma'am," "Yes, Sir," "No, Sir." Yes I would like this for my child, it's just respectful. I remember moving up to New York and I got in trouble by my first grade teacher for calling her ma'am.

I want my son to know how to not only respect others, other's property but I think it's equally as important to respect oneself. I look at kids and see how they don't respect the language out of their mouth (I think it's hideous and unattractive), not to mention their lack of respect for others. Oftentimes I wonder, what in the world did their parent(s) teach them. Seriously everything has just gone downhill in my eyes. I want my child to respect his toys, clothes, body, self and self worth. I want my child to know he is loved. I want my child to know his manners.

Recently I was going to submit an essay about what it means to be a woman today. As I began writing, I got angry. I was angry at women in general. Many women say things to me because I am a stay at home mom. I have even had professionals sneer because I wasn't working. Yes it is hard to be an at home mom at times. For me I think it comes naturally, it's how I was raised for the most part. Once at my doctor's office the receptionist had the nerve to make a loud comment under her breath because I wasn't working. When she asked if I did and I said no her response was, "Of course you don't." I was appalled. She is a professional, or supposed to be. Yes we have a lower income because of it, but does that make me any less of a person or lesser of a woman? I do have my Bachelor's Degree....hmmm....maybe I should have said something about that to the receptionist whom I can only assume did not. Yes it is wrong for me to assume, does that make it right? No, but I did and still assume that. Overall most women, I am not ashamed to say, I AM NOT PROUD OF!!



So where is that woman of 2009? I am right here. I am here and I am a mom. I am very proud of my friends and family who serve in the military. I am a stay at home mom. I served my country the best I could. Yes when I was in uniform at my college a faculty member called me a baby killer. Hmmm.....interesting. Why didn't SHE put on the uniform? Regardless I kept my mouth shut, let her yell at me in my uniform then went on my merry way. I do believe women are more outspoken now then every before, but just because you are outspoken doesn't mean you should never keep your mouth shut. I honor and love the woman who puts her family first above her career (yes some families need two incomes, yes some moms need to work). I honor the woman who is striving to make herself better and her family better. Most of all I honor those who teach their child respect, give their child the much deserved attention and love.

Recently I read that everyday you should say, "I love you" and "thank you" to your children no matter what their age. I believe this will most definitely teach love and respect. A parent needs to be a parent before they are their child's friend in my opinion. Then maybe when my son is grown (and starts a family of his own) he won't have to worry about having his children trick or treat in his neighborhood or walk to school like I did.