Goal Update...

Well here is the update on my goals and new goals that were added....

1. Fit into my size 10 cute white summer dress (I can zip it up now but it's hard to breathe and I have back fat). - I haven't tried it on yet and don't want to until I FEEL more comfortable, another five or ten pounds then maybe....

2. Look and FEEL good in a two piece (or ANY bathing suit). - This is a somedays I feel good and somedays I don't.....during little dippers swim class with Bradley the other day, not so good feeling but a few weeks ago I thought I looked really good!

3. Fit better in my clothes and hopefully a few pre-pregnancy bottoms. - I can fit into some stuff but can't exactly zip them now....getting there though....and I haven't tried on jeans yet....

4. Do either 5K or 10K at the 10Kan run (if I'm not pregnant) - Definitely planning on a 10K in September, but ran into a few bumps in the road recently....medical issues. I did get the go ahead to do it though.

5. Feel good AND attractive about myself - weight was ALWAYS an issue, even when I was A LOT skinnier and in good shape. - My husband has been really good at supporting me and some friends that I haven't seen in awhile when they do see me or a picture, which makes me feel better. I'm still NOT where I need to be.

6. Go down a pant size. - It may be awhile before this, but I do know my current ones fit better, which is a plus...

7. Have people surprised I'm a mom. - I tell everyone right from the start I have a gorgeous little boy and definitely take out the pictures so this may take awhile!! LOL

8. Be hit on again - I lost it all when I got pregnant the first time and I don't think my husband even found me attractive and it's hard today to think he does. - Wasn't hit on but did notice I was getting some stares the other day where my husband very nicely put his arm around me and held me close!! :)

So for the remainder....I have lost five pounds so far, but even more amazing is I lost 6 1/2 inches, mainly in my belly (I lost 3 3/4 inches there). I also lost 1 1/4 inches in my thighs! The rest were like neck, bust, arms, butt. I am very happy with these results. I definitely have more to go..... So this is what I'm adding on...

9. Month of June - lose five more pounds (weight would be at 159)

10. Month of July - lose another five pounds (making total weight loss 15 pounds so far, weight at 154 - pre-pregnancy weight)

11. Month of August - lose another five pounds (total weight loss 20 pounds, weight at 149)

12. 10K Run in September

13. By my birthday in October - another five pounds (making a total of 25 pounds lost!, weight at 144)

My Beautiful Angel

I am most definitely partial to my little boy. If you were to ask me I would say he is the smartest and funniest little boy ever. I love and adore my son. He makes me laugh and yes sometimes cry, but this week he has grown in leaps and bounds. He shows me continuous love and forgiveness for burning dinner or taking his toy away. He is my angel because he has changed my life forever and for the better.

This week Bradley is definitely showing favorites, choosing Mommy over Daddy. The doctor said today, at his nine month well visit, "He's going to be an early walker. I give it a month then you're in trouble." My little man is growing in leaps and bounds. The thing is when a day is tough, he now gives ME a hug and will put his head on my shoulder. Today he'd give me a slobbery kiss on my cheek and then hugged me some more! I LOVE THIS!!! I know once he's older he probably won't want the hugs from Mommy or kisses, so I'm taking them as much as he'll give them to me. I am SO LUCKY to have him in my life. I do thank Heavenly Father for my little angel. I wouldn't want life any other way!!

Museum of Play

Because Chris had one week off from school, we decided we would visit my mom and dad for a few days. It was nice to relax a bit, although Bradley did NOT sleep well at all and he was in our room so....you can only imagine how grumpy Chris and I were, but we survived and managed to get a date in there. Chris and I went and saw Angels and Demons on Monday. It was fantastic! I was exhausted when we went, the movie started at 9:45 but I was wide awake the entire time, which I was very surprised at.

On the way home on Tuesday morning we stopped at The Strong Museum of Play, in Rochester. I am not sure who had more fun, me or Bradley. Chris got into it a little but not much. There was a Sesame Street City, Wegman's Grocery Store (run by kids), a storybook land and a Bernstein Bears Village, it was all fantastic. Of course there was a ton of stuff in between and Bradley was able to crawl freely, overall it was just great. When we stopped for lunch we had Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. From there we headed right out and to the car, Bradley was so tired he didn't even make it to the car before he was asleep. Anyway take a peek at the pictures. I hope you enjoy.

This was in the Banana City or something like that. It was in the grocery store. Bradley loved crawling around in there.


This was the little steering wheel that Bradley played with. He knows how they run, his walker is a jeep that has a steering wheel so he was turning it all around. There was a button on the left side of the steering wheel that makes some sort of noise that once Bradley realized it, he didn't stop.


This is the side profile of the little bus thing. I couldn't back up any farther, because there were shelves with grocery items right behind me. Doesn't Chris look like he's having fun? Yeah right!!

Bradley loves mirrors and especially that little "friend" that is "always waiting for him."

My little man also loves music and loved "pounding on the keys," literally. But anytime there is music playing on TV or whatever he will stop and listen.

In this area, there was a pirate ship. After going through the ship you could play with these plastic pebble things. Of course as soon as I took the picture I hopped right in there with Bradley and started playing with dump trucks and the whole nine yards with Bradley.

Growing up I always read Nancy Drew so when we were in Storybook Land....I LOVED it! I was in Mystery Mansion and there was a secret room behind the bookshelf and even a picture where you could stand behind and look through the portrait's eyes! It was AWESOME!!

The Bernstein Bear and Campos Families.

This was in the Bernstein Bear Village and Chris and Bradley were using the saw at Papa Bears workshop.

We wondered if Bradley would be scared of the scarecrow. Not in the least. He wanted to touch and play with it right away.

These are the glasses that could go on a giant Mr. Potato Head. I was excited and it matched my shirt!

Finally here is Chris and Bradley playing a duet on the piano. Bradley played the lower notes and Chris the higher ones.

New Adventures in Mothering....

There have been many new adventures in mothering for me. First off, Mother's Day was wonderful. I couldn't have asked for a better day. Chris let me lay in bed a few extra minutes and then I got up and got ready for my day. I did the normal chores, like making the bed and headed downstairs, where I was greeted with breakfast. Shortly after breakfast Chris gave me a beautiful hanging flower plant and some seeds and planting pods to put them in. It was perfect. Unfortunately Chris had finals all the next week so he apologized then headed off to the library to study, but it was no worries. I finished painting my living room. It went from a dark tan color to a very light color, called natural. It's beautiful. I love it. I also had a very pleasant conversation with my mother in law, for about an hour, and my own mother. It was very nice and it actually was nice to have the house to myself for awhile. Bradley blessed me greatly by taking several long naps that day and when he was awake he was very happy and playful, until he was tired again.

Since Chris had finals this past week, I've been trying my hardest to get out of the house with the baby so he could study without any distractions, or very little of them. I honestly don't remember what Bradley and I did on Monday but I'm sure it was fun. I know I went to the gym at five for my workout so I'm thinking we just played at home.

Tuesday, Bradley and I went to the zoo in Syracuse. It was a blast. Before we went there, we had MOPS in the morning and Bradley I think would much rather play with the older kids then the kids his age. We had to leave early because we were meeting my best friend and her two kids in Syracuse. It was good timing though, because my little angel was having a meltdown right before we left. He slept from the building we have MOPS in to the gas station and all the way to the zoo.

Once we were there we did meet up with my best friend and her little boys (Owen, who is two and Adam, who is a week younger then Bradley). It took us a little while to find each other but we did. Bradley was much more interested in what Owen was doing then what the animals were doing, but by the time we got to the penguins he was intrigued. He loved watching those little things waddle, to the point where when we were leaving them he kept turning and looking at them until they were out of sight. Since Bradley loved them so much when we left I got him a little stuffed penguin he thoroughly enjoyed chewing on.


Near the penguin area there was this cutout, the kind where you could stick your head in and have it look like you are a penguin, so Bradley and I got our picture taken in there. He also LOVED the ducks and swans. He was a hoot and a holler at the zoo.




Now you are probably wondering why I haven't mentioned much about my best friend and her two kids....well even though Renae and I very much enjoyed our time spent together, we did have difficulties talking, which is always the case when we get together with our kids. The majority of the time we spent was entertaining them. Regardless it was fun to be able to see her and see how much weight she has lost. She claims she's only lost a few pounds but I think she looks fantastic!!


Bradley and I finished up by watching monkeys swing from branch to branch. I was so fascinated watching them I took video. Normally you don't see these things swing around. I was definitely much more interested in looking at them then Bradley was.


Finally you will see pictures of me and my best friend and our kids at the zoo. I hope you enjoy. And sorry about all the rambling! I think one of my favorite parts of the day was talking to Renae on the phone AFTER the zoo, when she told me how Owen was calling Bradley's name on the way to the car when we went our separate ways.

Mom!!! Too many pictures and we just got here....Here we go again!

This is of my best friend, Renae and her two boys. Owen is in the front and Adam is in the back of her stroller. Oh I have NO idea what I'd do without Renae!!

This is our group shot, we were scouting out people without young kids for this picture.

This was the third time we tried to get a picture of me and Bradley. He kept turning his head to look at me when we were trying to take the pictures. He's such a ham and always interested in what's going on around him.

I think Owen was like, "Lady, give it up with the pictures already!"


I think I was finally able to get a good picture of Adam because he must have been laughing at the crazy lady who wouldn't stop taking pictures!



Finally I think Bradley was saying, "MOM!!! Quit with the pictures already! You're embarrassing me!"

This video is of Bradley waking up....I hope you enjoy!

This video is of the monkeys at the zoo. I LOVED THEM!!

Identity

Recently I have been questioning my identity. We live in a world full of changes and one of these changes is the woman. Years ago it was unheard of to have a woman making the income in the family, but now it is very common. As a child, I grew up knowing, not thinking, I could be President of the United States. My parents always taught me I could be anything I wanted to be and do anything I wanted to do. I could be the next Miss America or I could fly to the moon and back, I could be a teacher or doctor, a lawyer or business woman, anything my heart was set on. At one point I think I wanted to be all of these.

So why now, that I have chosen my career I am questioning it? Not why I chose it, but why others question it. Why is it I feel guilty being a stay at home mom? Years ago this would have been very acceptable but now I feel out of place and guilty. I feel like I should be working because that is what is expected. Sure my little family and I make sacrifices in order for me to stay at home. We can't just splurge on anything anymore. In all honesty I wouldn't have known we could make it if it wasn't for the difficulties I faced right before and after Bradley was born. I had full intention of returning back to work. Now I definitely don't.



In order to clarify, when I was pregnant with Bradley I was still considered an ROTC cadet, preparing to commission as an officer in the Army. All of my commitments to ROTC had been complete, with the exception of a PT test (physical fitness test) thirty days out from my commission date. When I graduated I was about six months pregnant and I wasn't allowed to take the PT test. Something about doing fifty sit ups, seventeen pushups and a two mile run in 19 minutes and some odd seconds while six months pregnant didn't sound too enticing either. I had to wait up to six months from the date of Bradley's birth in order to take the PT test. I realized it isn't easy to lose the baby weight at all, in fact eight and a half months later, it's still not lost (but there was also a pregnancy in between).

I wasn't covered financially under the military health insurance, because I was still ROTC and should have been covered under my school. Well, I already graduated college with my B.A. so I wasn't enrolled in school. I was working full time for my unit and therefore according to New York State was unqualified for state health insurance because I made too much money. We found out the day I was in labor. Weeks after having Bradley we were getting in the bills which were around $10,000 total. I worked with the doctors and hospitals and was able to clarify this and it has since been taken care of.





During months of working with hospitals and doctors I stayed home everyday with my little boy. I loved it and still do. Sometimes it is paycheck to paycheck but other times, it's not so bad and we can put some money away. And I am in the process of getting out of the military. But without the hardship we faced, I never would have known we could make it.

So now I stay home everyday and I enjoy it very much, but I feel like I don't know who I really am any more. I feel guilty and get "the looks" saying I should be working from various people. Monetary wise it would help to have me work, but we pay all of our bills. We aren't late on them, or very rarely, like if we just missed one by accident or something, but again that's very rare. No we can't just pick up and fly somewhere and I'm ok with that. So why do I feel guilty? Is it because we live paycheck to paycheck? Really there aren't any jobs, plus day care is over $200 a week for this area for one child. I don't want someone else raising my kid, plus the additional income would be going toward childcare, there's no point.




Somewhere in this whole process I question who I am now. I know I am a child of God and I am a wife and mother, that's not what I'm questioning. I just feel like I'm lost somewhere and I'm not sure where. I don't know who I am anymore. I try to take time to myself everyday, mainly going to the gym. Nowadays I don't hang out with people like I used to, I have few friends and that's partially by choice, but I guess that's the sacrifice you make when you chose to be an at home mom. Don't get me wrong I'm VERY excited to take Bradley to the zoo next week and the Play Museum the following week. I guess I just miss part of the old me.

I know I'm not alone in this. I have a close friend who feels the same way, a family member and an acquaintance who all feel this way. All of us are stay at home moms. I don't want to go back to work and I want to raise my child. I know this is best for all of us in my family and I am happy. So why the guilt over something I love?

The First Year

So far I absolutely love the first year of my son's life. He has taught me much in the ways of being a mother, I couldn't ask for anything better. This is a video I took of him yesterday while he was crawling out of the bathroom. I tried to get it while he was banging on the toilet and laughing but by the time I got everything ready, he was crawling out of the bathroom. It's about a minute long. I hope you enjoy it. I promise this week I'll have another good point to bring up other then a video to brag about. I'm definitely one of those typical mothers who takes lots of pictures! :)

Adventures in Mothering

In September I joined a group called MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers). Because of circumstances and me messing everything up in the sense of getting wrong dates, etc. I haven't been going since December. Regardless this years theme is, "Adventures in Mothering." I absolutely love the theme, especially since it hasn't even been a year yet that I'm a mom.

Mothering does take you on several adventures from happiness, frustration, tiredness, broken hearts and growing up. There are times when I look around and realize, I am turning into my own mother. Of course there are things I do different like.....well right now I can't think of one, but I do know I do something different, right? And of course there are things that are most definitely the same, such as.....well who knows right now, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

In his eight months of life my little boy has grown in leaps and bounds. Today we were esctatic he stood up for the first time. Chris let go of his little arms and he was standing for quite awhile on his own, long enough where Chris was able to call me and I came running so I was able to see it. I did see it and I cheered and clapped like a little child. My baby boy smiled and laughed. Sometime we'll get it on video.

So in the lost world of staying at home with my child, I often forget about myself at times, many times actually. We have a daily schedule of:

7:30 Wake up, change diaper, give bottle
8:00 bowl of cereal, get daddy up
8:30 put dishes away from the night before, run over mommy's toes in Bradley's walker, pick up kitchen
9:00 Clean something, anything, make bed
9:30 Play with blocks, stuffed puppies, watch baby Einstein (if necessary), entertain Bradley
10:00-10:30 Change diaper, give bottle put to bed for first nap
10:30-1:00 Shower, clean, pick up, laundry, write, take a nap, return phone calls, pay bills (anything time permits really)
1:00 Get Bradley, change diaper
1:30 Feed Bradley lunch, pick up after lunch, clean kitchen again, fill dishwasher with dirty dishes
2:00 Try to entertain Bradley
3:30 Nap time
4:30 Bradley gets up, change diaper, give bottle, start dinner
4:45 Chris gets home, head to the gym (this is on Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays)
6:15 Return home from the gym, eat dinner
6:45 Clean up after dinner, fill the rest of the dishwasher, wash dishes, clean kitchen again
7:00 Sweep, mop kitchen, give Bradley a bath if he needs it
8:00-8:30ish Try and get Bradley to sleep

Really somedays I have no idea where the day goes. So when my friend posted the Crazy Eights Survey and had my name on the list to fill it out, I thought I would and post it to see what I've actually done....here's the results.....


8 Things I look forward to:


1. Bradley's first steps
2. Alone time with my husband (no friends, no babies, just us)
3. Getting out of debt.
4. Spending time with my family
5. Saturdays - I just love them.
6. Having another baby,
7. Looking really good and in shape.
8. Definitely restful nights.


8 Things I did yesterday


1. Worked out at the gym for 1 hour and 20 minutes.
2. Revised some of my writing.
3. Got groceries.
4. Cried.
5. Mowed the lawn.
6. Talked to my best friend on the phone, plus talked and did text a couple other really good/best friends.
7. Watched episodes of "The Office."
8. Fell asleep on the couch.


8 Things I wish I could do:


1. Shop and never have to worry about money.
2. Eat all the food I want and never gain a pound.
3. Have a romantic evening, with no worries, hassles, drama, etc with my husband.
4. Have a perfectly clean house all the time.
5. Have more motivation (actually feel it, rather then telling myself) to workout and eat healthy.
6. Fit into a size 8!
7. Go on a family vacation for a few weeks.
8. Have beautiful family portraits taken.


8 Shows I watch on TV


1. The Biggest Loser
2. The Office
3.Law and Order - Special Victims Unit (there's a Florek who's an actor on there, I like to think he's my cousin)
4. Desperate Housewives
5. Judge Greg Matheis
6. The People's Court
7. Everybody Loves Raymond
8. Fox News


8 Favorite Books


1. Scriptures
2. Me Talk Pretty One Day
David Sedaris
3. The Children of Promise Series
Dean Hughes
4. The Secret Life of Bees
Sue Monk Kidd
5. The True Story of Hansel and Gretel
Louise Murphy
6. The Work & the Glory Series
Gerald N. Lund
7. The Giver
Lois Lowry
8. MA! There's Nothing to Do in Here!
Barbara Park


8 Things I love to do


1. Exercise (when in the mood and if not normally after I get to the gym and definitely after the workout I love it)
2. Cook/bake
3. Scrapbook
4. Writing
5. Spending time with family
6. Travel
7. Listen to music
8. Spend time with my husband


So how do these things relate? Well the answer is somewhat simple. After the adventures in mothering, your priorities change and what you can do. It's a humbling, yet rewarding experience. Sure this week is difficult with a crying infant but overall it's wonderful and I have gained a new appreciation for the finer and more simple things in life (although traveling with kids is not easy).

What Have You Done?

As I drive home from my babysitters house I pass a billboard that says, "What have you done for your marriage today?" I often think about this now and it has come up in several conversations, with friends and with my husband. Sometimes I think we don't realize what we do for our marriage, but all in all I think it should be recognized, maybe not on a daily basis verbally but as long as we recognize it. An online statistic for the divorce rates in the US stated, "40-50% of first marriages end in divorce" and "According to statistics, second marriages fail at a rate of 60-67 percent, and third marriages fail at a rate of 73-74 percent" (Ezine Articles). It later states that communication is an issue followed by conflicts and arguments then infidelity. I think all of these would probably go hand in hand.


Chris and I tend to bicker and have our own arguments from time to time. But what we do is I end up forcing us to talk, not argue, about it. We discuss how it makes us feel and normally end with an apology and kiss. As for communication it truly is key to any relationship. We try and keep open communication with the both of us and it tends to work out. Nothing ends up being a surprise, or very rarely and we support one another, whether right or wrong.

Last night Chris and I discussed what we have done for our marriage today. We talked about how we made each other feel, etc. It was good. Chris had a very hard time coming up with what he felt he did for our marriage. He has done many great things, he just had a hard time recognizing them, so I told him what I felt he did well for our marriage that day.

So now I ask you..."What have you done for your marriage today?" If not married how about a relationship of some sort.