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Tis the Season

I LOVE Christmas! It is by far my favorite holiday and in fact I decorated my tree and everything before Thanksgiving this year. All presents, except the ones that need to be exchanged are wrapped (and one other present). Rumor has it Santa Clause wrapped his presents too.

I just can't shake the Christmas feeling around here. I LOVE it! Now if our little Christmas baby would come, it would be great. Amelia is due December 6th.....we thought she would honestly be here two weeks ago and at one point we thought before then, based off what doctors said...now I only have two days before I'm 39 weeks...this is the longest I've been pregnant.....I can't wait and I'm nervous at the same time. Our little princess is staying right in there!

Anyway when I was thinking about this blog it was something VERY different then what I wrote, but it clearly didn't happen. I'll blame pregnancy brain, plus writer's block from not writing in awhile......oh well. Hopefully I can think clearly again soon.

First Day of School

Bradley went to his first day of nursery school today, he's too young for pre-school. He meets with his class Tuesdays and Thursdays from 12-1:30. Today was a little shorter because it was the first day for them. He absolutely loved it! Bradley had no separation anxiety and didn't even get his coat or back pack off before trying to run around the entire room to play.

Typically they ask the parents to stay outside the classroom because of the separation anxiety, but like I said, he did well and they said I could leave. I got to the car and cried a little. Then was confused what to do. So....I went home and cleaned a little.




When I got back to the classroom, there was five minutes left before class ended. I peeked through the little window and saw Bradley running around and laughing. They had a little tunnel set up and the kids would crawl from one teacher at one end (Ms. Alguire) to the teacher at the other end (Ms. Barker). Bradley could hardly wait until his turn. He'd go in one end and crawl out the other laughing and giggling to get back in line for another turn.

At the end, they had all the kids sit together on the rug and then they opened the door for the parents. Bradley didn't even move until he saw me, just smiled for all the parents taking pictures. Once he saw me he got up and ran and giggled. Then he headed right out the door without his coat or back pack. We of course got it, put it on.




I turned to Bradley and asked if he had fun....his answer, "Yeah."

"Can you say thank you to your teachers?"

Bradley ran back to the door of the class room and yelled, "THANK YOU!" Waved bye bye and we left. He's been on cloud nine ever since.

A Big Belly

Today I start my 8th month of pregnancy. We are naming our little girl Amelia (which means hard working). This pregnancy has been just that. Who knows what the coming weeks will bring right now, but the doctors think it's a possibility I may go into pre-term labor. We definitely had a scare yesterday and we'll see what happens. I'm only 31 weeks right now. If I can hold out for six more weeks that would be great.

People I don't expect to hear from have told me to slow down, but honestly I don't think I'm doing too much at all, regardless I've taken my list of 30-40 things I hope to accomplish in a day (I never do trust me on this one) and have cut it back to about 20. I have two callings in church, one is a very big one and the other not quite as large. Regardless I'm doing my best and have slowed down with that work as well.




In the meantime, I'm tired, trying to drink even more water then before and enjoying my toddler. He keeps a smile on my face and me on my toes. He loves his dog and is a good eater, inventor and overall just a good boy. He starts nursery school tomorrow and picked out his own folder for school (it's a Toy Story one). He's going to be a great big brother. I'm very proud of him. In the meantime, the rain has us watching more movies then I want and the chill in the air has the oven baking goodies. Even though it's difficult sometimes, I love this life! :)

Four Years

Four years ago yesterday Chris and I got married. I cannot believe it's been that long, yet sometimes I look at the length and feel it should be much longer then four years. By no means is that in a negative way. I am very lucky to be married to him and our story is quite a different one indeed, saved for another time, when I'm more awake.

In those four years, Chris and I have faced challenges, tears both of joy and happiness as well as love and understanding, appreciation and comfort.




Our marriage we snuck off and got married by the Justice of the Peace. Chris picked the location and did all the work that goes along with it. All I had to do was show up. We didn't tell family and very few friends, in fact about a week after getting married, I sent out an email with a picture saying we said our "I do's." We didn't ever take a honey moon. A few days after getting married the Army shipped Chris off to a school. When he came back, we were supposed to take a quick weekend honeymoon to Niagara Falls. He came back with news the Army pushed his deployment date forward by nearly two weeks and he was leaving in four days for Iraq. I will never forget the day I dropped him off. He held onto his M4 Rifle and I kissed him goodbye. It was then I headed to my dad's office and couldn't even hold back the tears. He closed his office door and let me cry.




Our one year anniversary Chris was in Iraq. I knew he was going to get extended by a few months but he didn't believe it. Turns out I was right. I completed military training that summer and anxious for him to come home. I was very nervous when he did come home that he would no longer like me or we'd be too different and I stayed faithful for nothing.

Our second anniversary I was pregnant with our son. Less then a month lady our little bundle of joy was born. We struggled through the first part of that pregnancy and it tested our marriage. We cried at times, yelled at others but in the end came home with a beautiful little boy that would forever change our lives and make us smile. We also bought our first house that year and I graduated with my BA in Creative Writing.

The third anniversary was much different then the first two. We suffered a miscarriage earlier that year and debated over when to try again for another baby. Our son was nearly a year old and learning to walk and testing our patience.




Now the fourth anniversary is better yet. Chris and I are going to have a little girl in December. Our son has grown into his terrible two's a few months early. He is potty training. We moved from Oswego to Rome, NY. We rented out our house. Chris has a very secure job working for a company contracted by the government and has graduated with his BA in Information Science. I stay at home with our son.

When I look back at where we were to where we are now it's astonishing. We went from a couple struggling together to a beautiful and very happy family. I love my life, I love my life with my husband and more then anything I love that man who has supported me through thick and thin. There is no one here I'd rather spend eternities with then my husband, the goofy, funny, caring, honest and hard working Christopher Campos. I love him.

Teaching With Love

I have recently prayed, read and think I know how to address the situation at hand. It is to "Teach with Love."

When I joined the LDS church (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints), I was persecuted to a great extent. It was a very difficult challenge in my life, yet made me a strong person. There was a time when I left the church but decided that wasn't for me. Now I'm back into it and have a new perspective. I have realized my challenge is I still get persecuted. I'm finding there are little side comments about how "Mormons" are. I ask for those of you who don't know, ask. When I say ask, I mean ask someone who knows. For instance, don't tell me how a Mormon is if you aren't one. I've been a member of this church for ten years. I'll gladly tell you or show you by my example what it means to be a member of this church. Please don't assume you know because you read something online. I can promise you not everything you read online is true.

This is what I know to be true....making fun of someone for their religious beliefs may be fun for you at the time, but consider the feelings of that person you are talking about. I don't like someone making fun of what I believe and I have made it my personal goal not to make fun of other beliefs. It's sad in this day and age, the choice one makes NOT to drink, smoke, do drugs is considered bad in some sort of way. I dress modestly. I like to dress modestly and honestly the only person who should see me immodest is my husband. My body is for him to look at during our intimate moments. My body is sacred. I believe families are forever, not for time on Earth. I don't believe not having your infant baptized will leave them in some limbo state. We are not responsible for other people's sins. That would make God unjust. I do believe in baptism, but baptism by immersion in water, when we are at an accountable age. I know there is a living prophet here on Earth today, guiding us and leading us in the correct direction. Mormons do NOT practice polygamy. Yes WAY back in the beginning of the church history they did, but no longer do so and haven't for many many years. Mormons do like to have fun but feel like alcohol isn't needed in order to do so.

Please don't assume. If you have questions I'd be happy to answer them for you or set you up with a meeting with someone who can answer your questions. Finally if ever in doubt please check out this website set out by the LDS Church, Mormon.org. It is there to answer any questions you may have. Thank you and I do love you, I just ask you please consider how others may feel when you speak harshly about something very important to them. Remember "Teach with Love."

The List Updates

Once we get to summer, it's close to Bradley's birthday....I can't believe my little boy is going to be two in August! On top of all that, he has a little sister on the way. As corny as it may be I have updated our wish lists.

For Bradley we are focusing on Thomas the Train. He LOVES trains and we decided we'd collect the wooden railway set. It's a little more expensive but a lot more durable. Plus we plan on keeping it for years to come. People always ask what to get Bradley so I'm sending the list with his birthday invites this year.

Chris didn't want to update his much at all, except to add a new gift card and Ford Taurus (yes the real thing and not a toy).

Me. It's pretty much the same. I just added a few things here like towels but other then that I'm all set. Honestly a pedicure would be fantastic.

The newest addition is, well our newest addition to be....Amelia! She's due in December. So I added the things from her baby registry we started and found some toys she may want to play with throughout the year. I'm registered at Burlington Coat Factory and soon I'll be registered at Babies R Us.....check it out if you want. I LOVE the nursery theme, it's registered through Burlington Coat Factory.

Anyway that's it for us! Updated lists and as I buy for birthday's and Christmas I'll continue to update. :)

A Wonderful Day With My Little Shrimp

I absolutely LOVE my new ward I'm in. Not only are there mostly boys Bradley's age in nursery, but the moms all want to hang out. I took the initiative last week and gave out magnets with our info on them for play dates (I've had these magnets made since June just didn't hand them out). Anyway, some of the moms were taking their kids blueberry picking today. Needless to say, I agreed, although as a child I didn't like it very much.

The ladies met at 8am....and started picking. Of course those who know me well know this didn't happen with me....Bradley and I showed up around 8:45. Bradley was good at it in the beginning but then saw a wagon and dropped his little basket, ran over to the wagon (while stepping on his blueberries) and played. He ran up and down the rows of bushes. He even would come over and start munching on my blueberries in the bucket. He had a blast. He was covered in dirt, mud and of course blueberries. The best part, the oldest child was not even three yet. It all worked out perfectly.

I filled my bucket about three quarters of the way and then we headed off to pay. I ended up with about fourteen to fifteen cups of blueberries and only paid $7! Talk about excited. I can't wait to go back. While leaving, if we saw a good bush, which we of course stopped and added it to our bucket as well. Let me clarify....I added to my bucket and Bradley added it to his mouth.

After picking blueberries, we came home and ate lunch. When that was over Bradley and I worked on writing letters (which is him scribbling, which is fine). We also worked with a two year old book on tracing. Then we colored. He was so excited about all of this.

Finally we both laid down for a nap. It was wonderful. I had to set my alarm though because we weren't close to ending our day. Bradley and I headed to swimming lessons at the Y. He's in the shrimp class. He loved jumping in the pool, blowing bubbles in the water, dunking his head in the water and just getting out that energy my almost two year old has. His teacher was quite impressed with him. When she watched him go under water, he was smiling before, during and afterward. I talked to the teacher how Bradley still remembers from last year how to kick, etc. I said Chris and I wanted to let him try on his own but we are scared to let go. She had us put a little flotation device on him, which is strapped to his back. We did it and let go....HE CAN SWIM! He laughs, talks, everything while doing it. He KNOWS to keep his head up. I'm so proud of my little shrimp. He now has the beginning of a life lesson that could literally save his life one day. He's so cute at swimming. Once he kept kicking and ended up swimming in a circle. His teacher was extremely excited and if you can't tell, I am too. I can't wait to show daddy what his little boy can do.

After swimming we came home, ate dinner then off we went again. We headed to my cousin's house to feed and take care of her dog (she's out of town right now). Bradley played with Sherman (her beagle). He fed him some cheese and then tried to give him his dog food. Then it was off to get daddy a Frosty....he was working late tonight and we wanted to give him a treat. Finally it was home, brush Bradley's teeth then off to bed. What a busy day but very eventful and very entertaining.

As for tomorrow it's the zoo with our new friends! Until then, it's picking up the house and doing dishes, all of it well worth it for a day like today.

EUREKA!

I think I finally figured it out this week.....while giving Bradley a bath, I clean him, then let him play, during that time I can....read my scriptures, prepare my lesson (what I can while sitting on the bathroom toilet making sure my little man doesn't slip), read magazines, whatever the case.

To make matters better, while getting Bradley to sleep (typically an hour process), I can do the same. You see Bradley has had a very difficult time falling asleep since we've moved. Partially my fault, partially Chris's fault and partially Bradley. Anyway we started out sitting next to his bed and slowly have moved a chair farther and farther away. Now we are out in the hall, next to his door. If I turn on my bedroom light I have enough light to read, etc. Let me tell you I feel fulfilled!

If I keep my chores to Monday and work really hard, then several times a week I have peace and quiet (with no anxiety) about reading, doing extras and the list can go on. I worked very hard this past Monday and the Monday's before and finally, other then daily up keep, I'm enjoying extra time with Bradley and to myself. I already feel well prepared for Sunday's lesson (other then typing out my notes), I have done extra reading from a manual to help with teaching, I've worked with Bradley on letters, worked on an educational book for two year olds and tracing, Bradley and I colored today, played outside, took naps, I read leisurely (not once but twice). I honestly feel WONDERFUL! So far I have a plan....tomorrow if the weather is decent we are going blueberry picking (thanks to some great girls from church who invited me this evening). I am thrilled.

I know this plan will change when my little girl comes into this world but for now she's still baking in my belly, but until then.....I feel better, I have a place and I'm doing something productive other then the usual cleaning, errands and feeling like a robot. :)

And.....

IT'S A GIRL!

And....my placenta previa is gone....

But....I don't have enough water in the amniotic sac....so back on Wednesday to see if I was successful at getting it up. My guess is no because I've been very sick and haven't been able to keep up with the fluid/protein/eating task set forth by the doctor....

BUT...IT'S A GIRL! Her name is Amelia Claire and Bradley lifts my shirt and gives her kisses. He's so cute.

Pants?

Chris asked me this evening, "What kind of pants are those?"

My response, "Maternity pants."

"Oh they're grumpy pants!"

Yes people I'm having a grumpy day today....my house is never clean enough or picked up enough. I hardly had a break. Chris might have a business trip coming up and I wonder if I'll ever get a pedicure again....oh the joys.

Just One of Those Days....

Have you ever woken up and after about half an hour wish you were back in bed? That is me this Sunday. I saw the clouds through the curtains and remembered the forecast. Rain. Even though the clouds covered the sky with the nice cool breeze, perfect sleeping weather, I got up, took a shower and was thinking of my lesson I wanted to teach for Sunday School. I was prepared ahead of time so knew I had time to do some extras if I needed to.

I decided to make some handouts for my class and headed for the office. I was elated at how the handouts worked. All I needed to do was find the correct stock paper to print it on. While looking through a pile (that I was told is in the organized, uh I mean unorganized office) out of the corner of my eye I found a spider. Not only was it NOT a Daddy Long Legs but something that looked dreadful and dangerous in my mind. I quickly took a deep breath and dove into the pile of papers, hoping another one wouldn't pop up somewhere all the while thinking, it's for the gospel. Finally I found the correct stock paper that was not in the organized pile it should have been in but another random place, where if I had been the one to organize the office would have put it in that particular spot to begin with.

Relaxed I was ready to print.....I clicked the top little printer at the top of my screen only to find....nothing printing. What the heck? Of course my husband unplugged the printer so he could plug in his iPad and do some programming. After carefully plugging in the printer and trying to reprint I realized, the document was gone....vanished. In it's place was a new blank document....Document 4. My document was Document 3. I minimized everything and earnestly looked for my little handouts. They were no where to be found on the computer. Completely vanished. I took a deep breath and began to retype. The problem was fixed.

I thought I would organize my notes and thoughts better for my class....the problem with this is now the keyboard wasn't working. Really? This was absolutely driving me insane. I opened a new blank document and it began to work until I tried to put bullets in the document, then what would appear, but the document no longer working again. I closed the program and then waited for it to restart. Things were finally working out and I found another handout to give my students.

Now since this was done, I could head over to my scrap booking area and grab the specially designed scissors that would make cute little edges for my students' handouts. This was working great until in the middle of cutting one set of handouts, the scissors stopped working and something came unaligned. I'm the type of person who has to have everything the same, so I struggled an extra few minutes manipulating the scissors to work properly so I could have all the handouts look the same. As for the second handout they definitely had a different cut to them, which was planned anyway.



Finally I made myself a bagel with cream cheese, grabbed myself a vitamin water and was almost ready to head out the door, when I realized my "whities" were definitely the wrong ones to wear with my dress, therefore clinging to the Sunday dress and pulling up the skirt portion. After little debate I headed to the bedroom and changed my "whities" then everything seemed fine.




Chris and Bradley just left a few minutes prior in order to get some breakfast. It was wet out but that was it. With my half eaten bagel in hand and bottle of Vitamin Water I was ready, I was packed, I was organized. I opened the door, it was a down pour. I sighed but then folded my paper plate in half to protect my bagel, locked the door and headed for the truck. As soon as I got in the truck I realized my bagel was pouring water, not just a little. I was quite surprised at how much water kept gushing out of it onto the seat and me. That's when I realized it wasn't the bagel and rain, but the bagel, rain and vitamin water. The lid had fallen off. I sat in the Toyota Tacoma and took a deep breath along with a few bites of my bagel, ran back inside changed again then headed out for church looking like something the cat dragged in. Thank goodness I can laugh at my self and say, "It's just one of those days."

It's Been Awhile....A Long While

Let's just say this pregnancy has already taken a toll on me. Not only have I moved to a new home, which I love, in Rome, NY but this baby is making me SICK! I do have energy in this first trimester which is unusual for me, until recently. I am now feeling a bit sleepy during the day. A few days after the move, I started to get very sick. It took all I had to make Bradley meals without getting sick. Finally, I called my doctor and thankfully they prescribed Zofran and I became functional again. Now that I am eleven weeks pregnant, I believe I am on day five without having to take medication to keep food down. I still feel sick, just not as bad. On top of feeling sick there were some complications in the beginning of the pregnancy that limited what I could and could not do.

So needless to say I'm starting to get back on my feet. I have a lot of catching up to do on many things, including continuing to unpack, class reunion stuff, blogs, other writing, playing with my son, entertaining friends again and working out. I'm excited to get back on the ball with things! Until then.....take a deep breath, smile and enjoy life.

The results.....

It's official.......




The due date according to the Internet will be December 1st. I'm happy and scared and nervous of another miscarriage but I'm just going to take it one day at a time. :)

Ten Years

This post was written by Renae, my best friend, a couple days ago. With her permission I've copied and posted it. I am mainly reposting it because a few people wrote how inspiring it was, both her side of the story and mine. We hope it helps those who need to hear it at this time in there life, or maybe those who will need to remember it later on.

With Lots of Love,
Jen and Renae

By the way Renae's blog address is: Renae Today.

TEN YEARS

On March 30th, Jason has a birthday. My birthday is April 9th. (Wish lists are updated.) But April 9th also commemorates another special anniversary. Exactly ten years ago, on April 9th, my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Jennifer Marie Florek, now Jennifer Marie Campos, was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's crazy to think that just 10 years ago I was a senior in high school.
Her conversion story is amazing and crazy all at the same time. Missionaries had moved into town and she was asking questions. I invited her to church. The rest took off from there. To say her family was against her joining the church is the understatement of all time. They threatened to put a restraining order against me. Our whole town was involved. My mother could not go to the post office without being harassed. The day Jen was baptized, all of the local churches joined together in prayer to save Jen's soul. Those are just a few highlights.


After high school Jen went off to Snow College in Utah. I went to the University of Northern Colorado. On long weekends I would drive to Utah to visit for a weekend. One summer we got together in St. George, Utah and drove to Vegas for a day. After a couple years in Utah and Colorado, we both ended up back in New York for a summer. Then, I went back to CO, to live in CO Springs with friends, while she went off to Australia to be a nanny. That year, both of us received our endowments, her in New York, and I in Colorado. Somehow again, we both ended up in New York for the summer. Jen was engaged to a member of the church in Australia but was having problems getting back to be with him. I was on my way to Southern Virginia University to finish up my music degree.

Before I left for VA, it was official, Jen had decided to leave the church. To this day I can not express in words how I felt for the first few months after she made this decision. But, I did understand. Her family had never accepted her faith, in fact they had disowned her. The engagement to her fiance in Australia had been broken. Life stunk for her! It was too much.

Jen and I have been friends since middle school. We have known each other since second grade. Though the gospel was a HUGE part of our friendship, it wasn't everything. And so we continued to be the best of friends. Sometimes it was easier and sometimes it was much harder. There were times when I wouldn't here from her in a while. That was when I knew she was doing poorly and experiencing her own trials and hardships. Other times we'd talk several times a day with our Verizon wireless minutes about relationships etc...

In 2005 I met my husband. When he came to visit she was the first to meet him and loved him. She told him if he ever hurt me, she'd kill him. She will too! When we became engaged, she was to be my maid of honor. I'll admit that was a hard time in our friendship, especially when she wasn't able to be there for my special day, but that's okay. And again, I understood.

I believe it was that year that she decided to join the military. When she went to boot camp I remember receiving letters from her, mentioning that her roommate was a member. She started showing interest in the church again. I was so excited. But it didn't last long enough.

I came to visit New York for a week when I was pregnant with Owen. She showed up at my parents to announce that she had just been married to a GI heading off to Iraq. That was kind of a hard time too.

Jason and I moved to New York when Owen was a baby. I remember one day calling Jen, having a really bad PMS day, crying, and she came to visit for the first time. Our lives couldn't be more different at that point. I had a temple marriage, was a stay at home mom, while my husband worked. We owned a home, actually two at that point. She was attending school, struggling with her husband being in Iraq, and definitely not active in the church. I think both of us at that point were struggling to find what we had left in common to keep our friendship alive.

I would pray and plead with my Father in Heaven to help me be an example and the best friend I could be. Watching Jen struggle was really wearing on me and I didn't know what else I could do. To help me with my own personal grieving process, I made a scrapbook of our years together as friends. I presented a copy to her for Christmas and kept one for myself. That was my last and final effort and rekindling what was left of our amazing friendship. I felt I had done all I could do.

Then it happened. I became pregnant with Adam. I told Jen immediately. One week later, Jen called sobbing. She was pregnant. Her husband was not happy (another extreme understatement). It was definitely unplanned and she had been using birth control. Our due dates were the same. And so it went.

The pregnancy was definitely divine intervention. We had something in common again, although this was my second and her first. Phone conversations occurred at least once a day. I was able to attend her first ultrasound appointment with her. We shopped and planned, and were crazy moody pregnant women together. Of course she delivered Bradley a week earlier than Adam was born, but they weighed the same exact thing and were a half an inch difference in height.

During the pregnancy Jen started to think about the church again. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but was SO EXCITED! After Bradley was born, Jason blessed him. She attended Adam's blessing. Jen was attending church. Her bishop called her to Young Women's Presidency.

Then Jen suffered a miscarriage. It was horrible. There seemed to be no support for her, especially from ward members, visiting teachers, home teachers etc... I was kind of upset about that.

Eventually Jen returned to church again though. To some this may not seem like anything big, but believe me it is. Jen's husband is a not a member. He suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, amongst other things, mostly caused by his time spent at war serving our country. Her parents still are around and even though they are far more supportive than they have been in the past, church is still a cause of contention. Then there is Bradley. She takes him with her each week. He is a toddler now. Anyone who has ever gone to church with a toddler, knows that chances of getting anything out of your meetings is slim, just because of the wrestle to keep the toddler from melting down. There are definite times I wonder why Jason and I try to go to church each week for that very same reason.

Anyways, Jen is still going to church. And a few weeks ago she surprised the pants off of me and asked if I would go to the temple with her. I knew she had been working REALLY hard to become temple worthy again, but had no idea she was completely ready. Of course I said YES!

The closest temple to us (45 minutes away) is the Palmyra Temple. Because it's small, we have to have all of our own temple clothing and packet. I helped Jen order hers online, (which is much more difficult that it should be) and watched her track the package each day. Last week it came and...

Saturday we went to the temple together for an endowment session for the first time ever. I tear up just thinking about it. What an amazing day! I think I cried tears of joy and anticipation for two days leading up to the event. In the car on the way to the temple I cried again. TEN YEARS!!! I couldn't believe this day was finally here. To sit together in the celestial room with my best friend... The one person I had shared the gospel with so long ago... The person who knows me better than anyone else... The person who has shared every up and down with me since before I was a teenager... The person I hitch hiked in Vegas with... The person who's friendship with me has endured almost every up and down imaginable...



The experience was beyond words.


Jen is such an example to me. Now that she is active, just like before, she's one of the most amazing, stalwart, and worthy members of the church I have ever known. You add that to how amazing and wonderful she already is without the gospel and I think I am the luckiest person alive. She's a one of kind friend. I know Heavenly Father had a lot do with our friendship and obviously has helped things along the way. We both know there's no getting rid of each other!

I LOVE YOU JEN!

That's Renae today!

Saturday, April 10th

I went to the temple last Saturday which was WONDERFUL! Now Saturday, April 10th I want to go again. Any takers? I'll make the appointment! The temple is closed for cleaning right now until April 5th, so I'll make the appointment as soon as I can. I'm hoping they will still be able to schedule them while it's being cleaned but if not then I'll call as soon as I can. The temple schedule is: 7:30, 9:15, 11:00am, 1:30 and 3:15pm. Let me know if you want to go!

Waiting Anxiously

Well I am waiting patiently, that by the way is not true. I am waiting VERY impatiently for my package from LDS Distribution Services to arrive. It's been years since I've been to the temple and the fact of the matter is I can't wait to go. So why this package? I'm waiting on the rest of my ceremonial clothing to arrive. The Palmyra Temple does not rent ceremonial clothing. I've been checking the FedEx Shipping number everyday, several times a day. Currently it's in New Berlin, Wisconsin. The estimated delivery date is the 2oth of this month....I know that's only five more days but I keep hoping and anticipating it will come earlier then that. I'm like a little kid waiting for Christmas and well patience is supposed to be a virtue. I guess I need to work on it. Anyone up for a temple trip? I want to wear out that recommend!

Family History

I have made a very important decision involving my family history....currently the decision is to work on it every Saturday during nap time (as long as nothing else is scheduled). I figure it would be a great start and then I can work on getting the names to the temple. I have not only my own family history to do but my husband's as well. This should be interesting and fun. Chris has shown a little interest in his geneology. We have the proper paperwork for this and now it's just moving forward with it. I'm excited to see what comes of it all. Wish me luck and hopefully I can be somewhat consistent at this compared to previous years.

And the Packing Starts

Yesterday I was able to go through the attic and throw out the stuff we no longer needed, were using or just really didn't care enough about. There are a few things up there that still need to come down such as the baby bathtub and swing, plus our snowboards and a couple air conditioners and I think a garmet bag. Everything else is out of there and we are ready to move those to the new house. We have five boxes of stuff to throw out and ten boxes of stuff (mainly baby clothes and baby stuff) to take to the condo. I have all the boxes labeled what they are and where they need to go.

Now it's coming down to the basement. I'm hoping to get a start on that this week. In two weeks we get to move that stuff to the new house. It's exciting! It's definitely motivating to get it out of the house and into a new place. I already want it out of the hall. Needless to say both the truck and Escape will be filled on the first day.

I think the plan is attic (check - or mostly check), basement, then kitchen stuff we won't be using often (like the turkey roasting pan, etc.). After that I'm not sure what will be moved next....maybe some toys and stuff like that. I'm definitely motivated to get the stuff done and things taken care of. It's not happening soon enough at times. I guess that's where patience comes in.

Stay this Small Forever

My father and I have always been close. When I was a little girl he used to push down on my head and say, "Can't you just stay this small forever. Don't get any bigger." Now that I have my own child I find myself thinking and saying that to him. Bradley is a lot of work and a lot of fun, but I look around and wonder where the last eighteen months have gone.

Yesterday at church I sat behind Brother Saunders. He looked at me and Bradley and mentioned how he had children that small once before. Now his youngest is in his forties. I told him he must have blinked and his children grew up. He agreed, that must have been it.

I am very fortunate to be a stay at home mom. I get to watch Bradley grow and develop new skills everyday. Now he sleeps in his big boy bed and whenever he deems it right, runs into our bedroom to wake us up. At six fifteen in the morning, it isn't something I tend to cherish but regardless it's just as precious.

Bradley is only eighteen months but it feels like I blinked once and he went from a newborn to a toddler running around the house and testing out every gadget he can get his hands on. Can't he just stay this small forever?

Those Glorious Heels

What can I say other then I'm a girl that loves heels. Too bad they don't always make your feet feel as fabulous as your legs look in them. Heels tend to make your calves look wonderful. I am clearly a fan of them, but in between my dog eating my shoes (see the blog post Missing Shoes written in June of 2009) and running around with a toddler I don't wear them as much anymore. I'm sure if I had some that I loved, which I will soon again, I'd certainly wear them.

Heels really do make my legs look great and the best part is I feel attractive and more put together with them on. My husband is definitely a leg man and I like to look nice when I go out for him. Lately I want to look nice more for myself rather then anyone else. It's definitely a confidence booster. For instance, the other day I went grocery shopping and although I didn't look my finest, I got a very nice compliment on my jacket. It felt good.

My boost of confidence may have something to do with the weather change too. I swear I get depressed in the winter. I can't really go outside and whatnot. Now I'm running (trying to work on those legs) and the sun is shining. I LOVE being outside. I love taking walks and just plain enjoying the outdoors. I used to be outside all the time but now that I am married and have a little boy, it seems as though it doesn't ever happen nearly as much.

Anyway ladies, do whatever you have to do to make yourself feel better. Take these red heels for instance, they are GORGEOUS! I believe these heels are from Ralph Lauren (not entirely sure, they aren't mine that's for sure - my dog would have eaten them if they were). The picture came off another blog called, Swedes Love Fashion. And from that blog, I want to leave you one thought on heels, "For some girls, high heel shoes is a status symbol. A few more inches of height for the petites, a fashion fad for the style conscious and a sex symbol for divas."

Enjoy your heels and gentlemen, compliment your loved ones, they need it.

Ahhhh the Blog

I graduated with my BA in Creative Writing. Now I'm a stay at home mom and turns out don't have nearly as much time to blog as I thought. My husband is still in school, so I'm left home alone quite a bit. Right now actually he should be home but has to study at school. I'm proud of him and this, well leaves me very lonely. When Chris is home, oftentimes he's upstairs studying or whatever the case is. Any free time he has I try to consume it all, or as much as possible. I really miss my husband.

So what does any of this have to do with writing? The answer is, I feel like it's my only outreach for venting. I do call my best friend and vent to her more then anyone else, but right now she has three children ages three and under! YIKES! One or two nights a week I have an extra child to watch so I understand how busy it can get.

My writing skills are slipping rapidly. My dreams of publishing a book are still at large and every once in awhile I force myself to do it. Normally it's while watching "Thomas the Train" or "The Wiggles." Right now as I'm typing this it's "Handy Manny." I know it sounds like my child watches a lot of television and I honestly think he does. We do not watch it in the morning and only turn the TV on after nap time. He normally is up around 4:30. In the winter this is fine with me. Now that the weather is getter warmer and days are getting longer, I'm planning on cutting that back as well.

For the most part blogging is it. This is my writing. It's not nearly as creative as what it once was, before kids. I'm working on that. I normally just blog and hardly ever check for spelling or grammar. Sentence structure is not even a thought. Don't get me wrong, I want you to continue reading, it definitely is encouraging and I have a couple pieces I've worked on recently that will NOT be posted. One is an article for the church. I want to edit it and submit it to the church magazine. The second is a non fiction book, I finally feel like I have direction for it. Both are answered prayers. I've been praying for quite some time about those two. I've prayed for guidance and direction and it's starting to work out.

Blogging is keeping me going and I promise once I have more time, between packing, a toddler, moving, unpacking, establishing our life elsewhere and whatever else will come our way, I will be more creative in my blog entries. Until then....keep reading and I promise to those who have said my writing is an inspiration....just bare with me!

March Resolution Update

1. Have my house picked up by bedtime - some days are better then others, but it's slowly becoming more consistent, except for the weekends.

2. Lose 15 pounds - I'm only at losing two pounds, but I'm working at it slowly. I'm starting to run again (as of today) and I have decided I'm giving up sugary desserts, candies, etc. until Easter.

3. Eat a healthier diet - I definitely need to work on this one a lot. But starting with getting rid of those desserts is a good starting place for now.

4. Be more consistent at writing (blogging, writing on my own time) - I am being much more consistent on this one.

5. Finish the second children’s story - Haven't even looked at it again....

6. Work on getting the first children’s story published - haven't looked at this one either.

7. Spend about two hours a week working out (trust me it’s better then what I’m doing now) - It's been hit or miss on this one, but I'm starting to train for a 5K this month so it should pick up.

8. Keep an active journal - I have one entry for February. Clearly no excuse other then not making the time to do it.

9. Be consistent at Family Home Evening - we are doing much better at this, mostly once a week, although this week we did not.

10. Complete the first five chapters of my non-fiction book - I now have direction and am working on Chapter One as of earlier this week.

11. Make my bed everyday (or most days….right now it’s rare) - Almost every day.

12. Build up food storage - It's building slowly.

13. Allow my husband to make more of his own decisions where he will face the consequences himself, but hope he will recognize many or most of the decisions he makes will have a direct impact on our family (meaning me and Bradley and himself of course) - this is going well....nothing too exciting going on here.

14. Potty Train Bradley - this is still on hold.

15. Write an article for the Church - I have found the inspiration and actually wrote the rough draft a few nights ago.

16. This one is new.....Read the entire Ensign every month - I have not been doing this but if I can read an article every night, I think it will work just fine.

Well that's it for now. We have decided to rent our house now and we found a condo in Rome to live in. We can start moving our stuff down there by the end of March. I'm excited. We know what things we are going to start moving right away, which is pretty much our attic stuff and our basement stuff. Wish us luck!

Back to Reality

Yesterday I was very blessed to have a little taste of a girls night out. I haven't had one in a very long time. Chris was having a guys weekend so I decided to invited a couple of my friends over. We decided to go out to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner at five. Chris said he would watch Bradley while I spent time with the girls. It was SO much fun. It was nice to sit and talk with no interruptions and have good girl gossip. I kept teasing them I had to live vicariously through them because I don't do anything anymore and I wanted to be more spontaneous like the old days (which is how I eloped then sent an email to my family that I got married).

Once dinner was done and the check was paid, I wanted to just sit in the restaurant and honestly didn't have the desire to go back home yet. Although I loved the hour long dinner with friends and a break from the baby I loved the company even more. I miss being my old self at times. I would never change my life with my family but I miss the carefree life. Now everything has to be planned from waking up in the morning to meals, church, activities and through bedtime.

I was telling the girls how I wanted to be spontaneous and one of them offered me an all expense paid trip to Orlando in about two weeks from now. In fact I would get paid while I was there. I jumped at the chance, but now that I have time to think about it I couldn't leave Bradley. I have never left him for more then a few hours. I don't think I would handle that well at all. We'll see if I follow through with it. I doubt it, it's kind of scary being spontaneous as a wife and mother.

Lonely. That's what my life has come down to. I have my family but my friends in Oswego have all left (seeing how it's a college town). My other friends still in Oswego are in college and into partying and living the college life. I'm not into that. My nearest friend with kids lives in Auburn. I have no friends from church, although a couple acquaintances. I go to MOPS and have a few acquaintances there and every once in awhile we will do a play date. I miss having friends and having company with my same interests over. I remember years ago my cousin, who is also a stay at home mom, told me she didn't have any friends because she was always home with her then toddlers. When we move we will live minutes from that cousin, whose kids are now in school. She is almost like my pillar of light and I know once Bradley is old enough to get involved in more things I will have friends once again.

Toddler Time

So I've realized, I'm getting bored with the same old activities everyday with Bradley. I have been doing a little research and some things I remember from things I've read before kids (when I was a nanny) and beyond that. Hopefully they will give you ideas too. Bradley is only 18 months, but please share any story, idea or recommendation with me. These by the way are things I have not tried, but sound like a good idea.

1. Make a "parade" with stuffed animals, etc.

2. Act out a story from our favorite book

3. Have a picnic together (even in the living room)

4. Make a pillow pile to jump on

5. Make a super hero costume out of random things from the house

6. Plant a flower or vegetable together

7. Play dress up in mommy and daddy's clothes

8. Play red light green light

9. Toddler bowling with plastic bottles and a ball

10. Play tug of war with a blanket

11. Roll a tennis ball into an empty trash can or bin

12. Sketch your child with sidewalk chalk or on paper

13. Toss bean bags into a bucket

I was hoping to have a better number but as I was going through lists on different websites, I realize we've done many of them already.

The Pregnancy Kicker

It's been seven months and Chris and I are still trying to conceive. I never imagined it would have been so hard to do. Since the miscarriage, almost a year ago, we have had our ups and downs. It is so frustrating. Every month when I am reminded of the child we didn't have it is sad and hard to go through.

Recently just about everyone around us is getting pregnant, either quickly or by chance. I am very happy for those people but am waiting for my turn. My husband has even noticed this.

The same things that people say over and over is getting old and tiresome. I always hear the, "It'll happen," "Don't think about it and it'll happen," "In the Lord's time," "Be patient" and so on. Although I love the support it's now come to the point that it's frustrating. I really am grateful but a couple days ago I found out another acquaintance was pregnant and a week before that someone else too. So when will it happen???

I'm flustered, angry and lately thinking about that baby we lost. I am grateful I don't have two children thirteen months apart but now the gap is getting larger and larger. I want to feel the baby kick in my belly and my belly to grow round. I loved being pregnant both times. The patience of that happening is harder then I thought, it is literally emotionally draining.

Potty Training

Potty training probably takes more patience then I'm willing to admit. Bradley is definitely ready. He lets us know when he's gone poo poo and he even took his toilet seat today and put it on the toilet himself. I do have to admit that I haven't been as diligent with him on this as I should have been. When we are potty training I know I need to pay 100% of my attention to him, which is hard for me to do, there's always something else going on...dishes, laundry, picking up, etc.

Bradley was sick about a month ago with a flu that included diarrhea and we decided to hold off since then. Now that I'm feeling more ambitious this is what we are doing again. Every night after dinner we put on the underwear until he goes to the bathroom, weather in the toilet or in his pants. It's been about half and half with him, unless we are out of our element, like in Lake Placid, etc.

When Bradley does wet his pants, we have him help clean it up. We tell him it was an accident but he is not allowed to pee his pants, but sometimes accidents happen. So far this has been working well for us and I'm hoping this year he actually is trained. Let's keep our fingers crossed. Until then..

...this is what we ended up with today, right before we decided to try the potty. He really is a little comedian....

We love you Bradley and these will be great blackmail photos when you are a teenager!

The Love for My Little Man!

I absolutely ADORE my little boy. He is almost 18 months now and is SOOOOO much fun. He keeps me in check and I do the same. Bradley loves learning and he loves music and singing. These are definitely a few of my favorite things about Bradley....

1. Every morning I get a very long morning hug

2. When he sleeps in his big boy bed he comes running to our room in the morning to wake us up and greet us with a big smile.

3. Bradley loves Ring Around the Rosie's ....a song I loved as a kid as well.

4. Whenever Bradley feels hurt or sad or sick he comes running to mommy to hold him.

5. Bradley loves helping in the kitchen with cooking, putting dishes away, doing dishes (even the ones that don't go in the dishwasher), emptying trash (he grabs shopping bags after we empty the trash and sticks one in the garbage, thinking he's helping.

6. Loves playing games like peek a boo, hide and seek. He will play by himself or with others. He LOVES people, kids, adults and all animals.

7. Loves coloring and learning. He's all about how things work and is intrigued by anything and everything.

8. He's very smart. If you take a spoon away, he'll reach for the fork (and then eat a ton of brownie batter when you aren't looking).

9. He loves stories. Sometimes he takes his favorite book (Where the Wild Things Are) and reads it to himself, while sitting on his little couch. My favorite is the is reading it upside down.

10. Most of all he is always smiling.

There is so much to love in that little boy I don't know what I'd do without him. I am very lucky to have a child like him. I love watching him grow, play, discover new things but most of all I love that I'm his mommy.

Ovulation Test

Today while doing my daily routine and then grocery shopping, I had to stop at WalMart to pick up diapers, wipes and some cleaning supplies. I decided to head over to the "feminine needs" section and pick up an ovulation test, hoping this will help in our endeavors to conceive. We've been following an ovulation calculator online and trying to figure out when the best time to conceive is. We will be trying in the next few days, or so we thought. When I got home, I took the test and turns out I'm going to ovulate within the next 24-36 hours. My LH (Luteinizing Hormone) level is up now so we are moving our baby making a couple days earlier. Turns out if we had waited as planned we certainly would have missed the ovulation date and would once again have missed a pregnancy. This by no means makes me think it will be a for sure thing this month, but at least we know we didn't miss that small window of opportunity. Also, since the first test came back that yes I will be ovulating soon, I don't need to take another one until next month (the package came with seven tests), so I'm saving another $12. If by chance we don't get pregnant this month, we are looking into fertility treatment - not so say we will or won't go through with that, but it's an option. In the meantime, I'm learning a lot about fertility.

Trying to Conceive

It's very frustrating but since August, Chris and I have been trying to conceive. We know it will happen in the Lord's time but regardless, it feels like it's taking forever. This process has been good for us though. I have learned a lot about my husband, myself, our son and the stresses of conceiving. The hardest thing I have found is I was able to get pregnant with Bradley while on birth control. I got pregnant really fast with the child I miscarried and for whatever reason this one is coming when it's appropriate. I am learning patience and it's all whenever the timing is right. So we wait and keep on trying, what else can we do?

February Resolution Update

1. Have my house picked up by bedtime - some days are better then others. Chris just got a job so we've been out a lot looking for apartments and our house is getting lost in the mix. It's up for sale (not officially yet) so this one will definitely have to be implemented more.

2. Lose 15 pounds - I had lost around five pounds, then another three from a stomach bug....but I think I gained it all back.

3. Eat a healthier diet - I was doing great with this for about two weeks. Once that stomach bug hit, and I got better, I wanted to eat everything in sight and think I did.

4. Be more consistent at writing (blogging, writing on my own time) - I am definitely slacking on this.

5. Finish the second children’s story - Haven't even looked at it again....

6. Work on getting the first children’s story published - haven't looked at this one either.

7. Spend about two hours a week working out (trust me it’s better then what I’m doing now) - I'm lucky if I even do a fifteen minute workout in a week.

8. Keep an active journal - I have about three entries for January (although I did get it in mid January....). It is better then what I had before.

9. Be consistent at Family Home Evening - we are doing much better at this.

10. Complete the first five chapters of my non-fiction book - Haven't started it.

11. Make my bed everyday (or most days….right now it’s rare) - I'm doing much better at this. Almost every day.

12. Build up food storage - It's building slowly.

13. Allow my husband to make more of his own decisions where he will face the consequences himself, but hope he will recognize many or most of the decisions he makes will have a direct impact on our family (meaning me and Bradley and himself of course) - this is going well....nothing too exciting going on here.

14. Potty Train Bradley - this has been on hold since Bradley had the flu.

15. Write an article for the Church - I have a little inspiration floating around.... :)

Well I definitely have a lot of work to do. But it's going to be a slow process, especially since we are moving and our house is up for sale. :)

A Christmas Story

We were given a snow suit for Bradley from a close friend of ours. It fits him well, with the exception of the sleeves being a little too short. Don't worry, he has the next size for a snow suit from his Uncle Chad and he'll get that fairly soon.

It's always quite a challenge to get him in all his snow gear.

Once he's in it, he reminds us of the little brother from "A Christmas Story."

Sometimes Bradley gets so flustered with the snow suit that he'll give up and just lay on his back in the snow until someone comes to get him.

He's a funny little man and makes us laugh every day. :)